


Semblance and Reality

by Valdyr



Series: The Angel Within [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e05 Fallen Idols, M/M, Pre-Slash, actually already getting a taste, almost there, just a little one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:22:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10191905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valdyr/pseuds/Valdyr
Summary: Sam goes on to hunt with his brother, and secretly also the devil. Which works much better than without, except... the rebellious archangel is starting to feel a bit cooped up in his hiding spot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Since Sam does not feel overly guilty about freeing Lucifer with him being a good guy here and the staring at 'demon' blood in desire between him and Dean didn't happen, they never separate. Consequently nothing from 'Free to be you and me' happens and with Sam and thus Lucifer right next to him Zachariah also doesn't dare to approach Dean to cause any of the events of 'The End'.

'Seriously?'

Sam tried not to grin, but a little payback was due for how the devil had been annoying him. And now the devil was the one getting annoyed. First the sheriff had been 'criminally dumb', as Lucifer had called it, once more proving him right in saying that mankind was beyond flawed, and now Dean was going full fanboy, gushing about the Little Bastard.

The devil, invisible again so that Dean wouldn't notice Sam looking at any specific spot and start to wonder, was alternatively sighing and groaning so loudly in his head almost every two minutes now that he almost felt like his inner running commentary had turned into a porno. Which he obviously shouldn't have thought.

Now the devil was gleeful again and made it sound like that on purpose. Which was really distracting. Mostly because it was in his head and louder than what Dean was saying. At least he told himself that that was the main reason. It could not possibly have anything to do with the reaction his anatomy had to the sound of the devil's voice. The seductive purring and the growls that made just a tiny part of him want to lie down and let himself be devoured.

Fuck, the devil had no right to have such an effect on him. He was an angel for God's sake! A sexless wavelength or something!

'True. But I am also a sinful angel fallen to earth with all its wonderful vices.'

'Ahah! So you do like something human!'

'Why human?'

'Well, our vices.'

'Oh honey, you think that's a human invention? Sorry to break your delusions, but those are basic animal instincts. You are just the only kind of animal that gets all bashful about it. Many of you, anyway. Some of you know better and understand that all the stuff the bible forbids is what you naturally desire. Surely you've heard of that? You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel...'

'Shut up, I get it! You're not into human things, just animal things.'

'I am into something human.'

'Really? And you as the big human-hater admit to it, too?'

'Sure.'

'...Well? What is it?!'

'You, my naive little cutie, you of course.'

Damn, he really should have seen that coming.

'Yep, but you didn't. But don't take your mental blinder down, I like envisioning you wearing a real one. It suits you.'

The hell?! When did they dive from puns about possession into pet play? Oh shit, now the devil knew that he knew about that.

'Sam, I didn't need to hear that thought to know about your adventures with Jessica, the sweet little kitty cat to your big strong hunting dog. I'm in your head and have access to your memories. How do you think I understand pop culture references and the meaning of places you think and talk about? Heck, even your language. I was in a cage in hell for the past couple thousand years, remember?'

'That was just one time we tried!'

'Sam, really?'

'Okay, so maybe it was a couple times. But you shouldn't know about any of it, those memories are private!'

'I know, but your memories are in terrible disarray. There is no filing technique or labeling to suggest that they are private, so I can't tell if I should rather refrain from one until I have a look.'

'How the hell am I supposed to file or label my memories?!'

'Sam, I know what you secretly watch, even if your brother remains ignorant. I know that you know about mind palaces. Order your head and I won't stumble into things I'm not supposed to see anymore.'

'Oh, okay... ... ...You've already seen everything, haven't you?'

'Yes, bad doggie, I have.'

'You ass!'

'Go on, I enjoy hearing about asses from you a lot.'

'Oh, please stop it!'

"You alright?"

"No, I'm not, just stop it!"

"Dude, sorry for my enthusiasm, I'll leave you alone."

Wait..., that was Dean's voice! He looked up and found Dean staring at him in bewilderment.

"Oh my- Sorry! I was... erm... caught in a memory. I'm really sorry for snapping at you. ...You were saying?"

Dean hesitantly repeated his last few sentences, but recovered his passion soon enough, so Sam used his next chance to mentally curse the devil. Not that it did anything about the snickering in his head. Bastard.

 

But he was a useful bastard. Even though he was a bastard about that, too. Dean had wanted to prove the car the real Little Bastard by doing the most dangerous thing imaginable, crawling under it. And Lucifer, that son of a bitch, had spent the entire time agreeing with Dean's panic and spurring his own, only to tell him afterwards, when Sam was alone in their motel room to research the number, that he hadn't gotten any curse-y vibe off the car at all. Clearly, a bastard.

"Nope. Not born out of wedlock."

"Oh, God is married?"

"No, but I wasn't born. Angels are made. We call God our father, but in all honesty he is like a mad scientist. Like Doctor Frankenstein."

"And the angels are the monsters? Nice."

"The angels and Adam and Eve, too. All His messed up little playthings, like a kid's sandcastles, built only to be smashed..."

"Okay, this just got a bit depressing."

The devil only sighed in response and now Sam felt bad. He'd actually prefer Lucifer to be annoying again, bit didn't happen. Briefly he considered whether he should be glad for that. The silence allowed him to concentrate on his research about the would-be Little Bastard.

Because Lucifer may have said that there was nothing supernatural about the car, but Dean wanted it to be the real thing so he might demand proof that it wasn't. And not having any then might not be a great idea. Lucifer's testimony, once again, wouldn't work for that.

So Sam had to go the distance and disprove Dean's hopes in accordance to Lucifer's knowledge. That felt redundant and bothersome already, but now that Lucifer wasn't even entertaining, ...erm annoying, him anymore, it was also unbelievably boring. He had gotten too used to the commentary. Now he missed it. He was such a spoiled little brat.

...? ...? ...? He looked over at the hallucination of the devil where it lay on his bed, but it just stared up at the ceiling.

"Devil? Lucifer? Luuuci? No reaction? I just thought that I was a spoiled brat. Really, nothing? Wow, you are beyond bummed out."

The silence should help him, but it didn't. It unsettled him. He had to do something about it and a promising attempt had gotten him nothing. This needed special measures. Extreme ones.

So he opened a search machine in a new window and entered 'twink+spanked+fucked'. Just for good measure. He wished not to catch a virus and clicked on the first link to a video. After that he could only try not to react too hard and hope that it would work, because no matter the position of the hallucination, the devil was still in him and saw what he saw.

"Pun intended?"

"Hm?"

"Your _hard_ reaction?"

"...You're talking to me again?"

"Sam, if I had known that the cold shoulder would get you to watch gay porn, I would have started with that."

"So your sprits are up again, good."

With that he shut the video down again and returned to his research. Or he tried, at least. But he had poked the hornet's nest now and the devil chuckled darkly. In that hot dark dominant way of his. Whatever, the problem was solved and he could go back to researching.

"Not so fast, honey, because my spirits are not the only thing _up_ now. Ain't that right, little Sammy?"

"Did you really just talk to my...? You know what? I take it back. Just go back to silence."

"Okay."

.... There was actually silence again.

"You listen to me? Since when?"

...

"Seriously? You want me to put the porn back on just so you'll talk to me?"

"I want you to get naked, step into a room with mirrors on all sides and the floor and fuck yourself on a vibrator the size of your forearm, fist clenched for a head, while an industrial milking machine sucks you dry."

Sam's throat was already dry for sure, that was one hell of an image, but the monotone delivery did not sit well with him. And then the devil continued.

"But we both know that what I want won't happen. So you don't need to ask."

"...Well, it's kind of extreme."

"Shit happens when I get bored."

"You've been talking almost non-stop since we met and you're bored?!"

"Exactly. I've been talking. Just plain talking. I mean there was a bit of action with War, but... that's it. Sorry, but I'm not made for sitting around. I've been sitting around in an enclosed space in complete isolation for so long I barely remember the time before and now I'm sitting around again."

"But you're not alone anymore."

"Right, I now have contact to exactly one person, who for most of the time perceives me as background buzzing."

Now he felt really bad. He was the only one Lucifer had. And he was constantly being an ass to him. In the end, Dean wouldn't come back any time soon anyway; so he shut the laptop. Research could wait.

"Is there something you'd like to do that's not sex?"

"Why? Think God will judge you, 'cause the bible forbids it? I could make myself appear female, you know?"

"I don't care about sexes... Wait, is that really God's opinion or was that made up? The prohibition of homosexuality I mean?"

"I actually don't know. You people invented a lot of crazy rules and meddled it with real messages, but that was never my area of responsibility. I'd say that, if God didn't approve of buttsex, he wouldn't have put that incredibly sensitive bundle of nerves you call the prostrate right where a cock in the ass strokes it so nicely. But then there are strong indicators that he is sadistic, so he might very well have made it good just to tempt and deny like a really nasty tease."

"....Okay. Well, that was interesting. Thanks. But back to my original question: Anything else you'd like to do?"

"Lots of things, but they're all less advisable. Just screwing like bunnies would be best for all."

"Sure. Hypohetically?"

"Sam, I would be happy to do anything at all. Stretch my wings and fly, smite something, cross time, literally anything at all! This is all... It's gotten old pretty quickly and I'm itching to act!"

"What's gotten old?"

"Motels, walking, sitting in a car, everything you do. It's all just the same all the time."

"Are you...? You sound almost like you're having a midlife crisis or-or ants in your pants or... Wait. Are you getting stir-crazy in my head?"

"That's one way to call it. Come on, Sam, let me do something!"

"Uh, sure, erm... You said you want to fly, smite or time-travel? Well, smiting might not be a great idea... Neither would time-travelling. So I guess you can fly."

"Really? The least of the three? Of course, what else. Don't you want to peek through time? Meet some famous people that are dead now or something? I can take you anywhere and anywhen you want!"

"Dean told me about his trip. He met mom and dad, great, and he couldn't do anything about their deaths. Even knowing the future, he couldn't change it."

"Obviously. That would be a paradox. If you want to change the past, you have to be really clever about it."

"...You can change the past?"

"To a degree, sure. The only rule about changing the past is that you don't change the present. That probably won't work, but if it does, that's worse. 'Cause then you get the Fates on your tail and those sisters are not the kind to mess with. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, I'm telling you."

"Are you ...scared of them?"

"A bit. They are not as powerful as I am individually, but they have the numbers and they're wily with experience I could not gather in my prison. Admittedly, they wouldn't risk the prophesy by killing either of us, but we don't need all our parts to fulfill it and I for one would not appreciate our manhood getting removed in some gruesome way just for a trip."

"Message received and understood clearly. ...But you _can_ make changes?"

"While the present remains as it is, yes."

"I think I can guess the answer, but... can you save my mother?"

"Sam, that would put the present on its head."

"Yeah. I guessed that much."

"Sorry. And now you're depressed!"

"I'm not. I knew what the answer would be. Dean tried to kill Azazel when we went back, you know. Didn't work."

"...I'm really sorry for what Azazel had to do. But God made the plan."

"I know. But it's not like Azazel disliked it. I feel with you that you did what you did to get out because it was necessary, but him..."

"I know, demons. Despicable creatures. ...Sam?"

"What?"

"Do you want to take revenge on him?"

"How? He's dead."

"Not in the past."

"...Wouldn't that change anything? His actions?"

"Not if we snatch him after he has done everything he had to do."

"Lucifer, I saw him die. He would have reacted, had I taken revenge on him beforehand."

"I know your memories. But I think I can find a way. If I did, would you want to hurt him for what happened to your family?"

"...I'm not sure I could. I... I tortured Alistair..."

"I know. I know how high you were and I know how you look back on it now. Would you maybe want me to hurt Azazel for you?"

"I....."

"Sleep on it. Now let's tackle that car."

Suddenly research was a welcome escape and he dove into it with fervor until he had proof that the car was not the problem and could call Dean, who was at a bar. Of course. Sam was annoyed, but he also took it with humor. It was just so Dean. So familiar and uncomplicated.

He actually smiled and soon the devil eased him into a dreamless sleep to let him rest.

 

When he woke up again, he was nice and comfy, snuggled against a warm body, that nuzzled his face sweetly. ...Wait what? His eyes snapped open and he stared right into that brilliant blue of the devil's eyes.

"I'm still dreaming then. A crappy motel room again, really?"

"Shhhh. No, you're awake."

Hm? He looked over Lucifer and saw Dean sleeping in the other bed.

"But I...?"

Hesitantly he reached out and touched the devil's beautiful face, his skin soft and warm.

"I can feel you, how can I be awake? I thought this is just a hallunication?"

"It is."

"But I can feel it!"

"Quiet, Sam, you'll wake your brother. You feel when your brain registers what your nerves picked up. Or when someone powerful enough, who knows what they're doing, tells your brain to register a sensation even though your nerves never picked up on anything."

"...I'm feeling something that's not there."

"Yes, I wanted to see if it worked. I haven't really ever done this before with any vessel."

"And I really feel something."

"Is it realistic?"

"...I don't know. It's weird now that I know it's not real. Hard to tell..."

"Okay. Does this feel real?"

The devil laid a hand on his chest and even seeing it go through his shirt like the illusion it was, he felt like he now had something warm laid on his chest.

"Kind of... It's strange."

"Okay, let's try something easier. Does this feel realistic?"

And then Lucifer leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. And it was hot and wet and soft. He felt a tongue brush the inner sides of his lips and opened his mouth on instinct. Next, he could have sworn, a tongue was pushing inside and exploring. It tasted like... Like cinnamon and salt and strong liquor.

Wow. And it wasn't tame, either. As he forgot to protest, the devil got more daring and pushed deeper, one hand gripping his hair and tugging him closer, or so it felt to him. And the other gripped his shoulder, clawing at him hard, almost ardently.

And he felt as though he was pushed on his back and he could feel the other's weight and heat shift on top of him, even though his eyes had fallen closed at some point. But he didn't need to see his personal Adonis on top of him. He just felt. And he forgot that it wasn't real.

But wasn't it? It was real in his mind, for sure. And he really pushed his hands above his head when it felt like Lucifer had gripped his wrists and pushed them there, holding them there now with one hand while the other travelled downwards, ghosting over his willing body...

 

He was completely lost in the experience. But so was Lucifer. Completely distracted from their surroundings. Until suddenly a pillow flew through Lucifer and landed squarely in Sam's face.

The hallucination vanished and he jerked up in shocked surprise, only to find Dean on the other bed staring at him in displeasure.

"Dude, no wet dreams right next to me. Okay? When I'm out with a chick, fine. Whatever you want. But I'm right here."

"Sorry."

Oh, he was. And he was incredibly grateful that Dean had thought it a dream. But he was mad at Lucifer for setting this up and embarrassing him in front of his brother like that.

'I am really sorry, Sam, but that was not intentional. I did't notice him waking up. I was... well, you had all my attention. I gather it worked, though?'

'Yeah, it did. Hell, that... Fuck. I just...'

'You need to think?'

'Definitely.'

'I'll keep it low for a while.'

'Thanks.'

His head was a mess after that, but barring a snort in reaction to the sheriff's idiocy when they investigated a second body, the devil kept his word and gave him time to think. What had his life become? A year ago he would have fought the devil tooth and nail and now he was making out with him?

The case, nice and familiar, was a much needed compensator. Except that it became ever more of a mess, too. Because it was not a cursed object they were dealing with as it had first appeared. But different famous ghosts killing their greatest fans? That theory got less plausible, though, when Ghandi tried to take a bite out of him and then disappeared in a completely un-ghost-like manner.

'Luci? Fer! I mean... Lucifer, what was this?'

'Not a ghost for sure. There was no soul.'

'Soul?'

'Ghosts are distorted souls. Not as distorted as demons, no longer like those you find in the living, but still souls. Even vampires and werewolves have them, changed and no longer bound for heaven or hell, but still there. Every creature that was ever a human has a soul. That thing had none.'

'So what else could it have been?'

'What do you know that is always born inhuman, can change its shape to impersonate different people and disappear into thin air and loves to eat human flesh?'

'I am not sure. ...pagan gods?'

'Pagan gods.'

'So we stake it?'

'Doesn't work on everyone. You better figure out which one it is, because if you stake it and it lives, I' pretty sure I'll have to step in and then I'll have to alter Dean's memories again. And a couple times might not hurt too much, but we shouldn't make it a habit or we might end up turning his brain into mush.'

'Oh. But how do we find out which one it is?'

'You have uneaten bodies, don't you? Maybe something was overlooked?'

After that he nodded and then there was an awkward moment where he wasn't sure how to say 'Thanks, now go back to being silent and giving me my space, please.' But Lucifer knew exactly how he felt, he understood and retreated with the impression of a gentle smile.

Sam was grateful and turned his focus outward again to discuss the strange ghost with Dean. His brother did not wholely agree then, but when a new victim was taken by a still living celebrity, there was no arguing anymore and the bodies revealed the deity's identity just like Lucifer had said.

But despite his ego, the devil demanded no acknowledgement and resurfaced only to guard Sam's unconscious body from being eaten. But the pagan apparently preferred to wait for its victims to wake up again. Perhaps to eat them alive. In any case, he was not needed.

He did give Sam a little boost when the man-eater overpowered Dean and went for the kill so he could prevent that, but not so much that it would be noticed. He really didn't want to make a habit out of reavealing himself to Dean and making him forget it again.

And he didn't have to. With subtle but effective touches, everything went well. After all, the brothers were capable hunters. But some unseen help never hurt. Even if only Sam would ever know. No-one else could notice.

And with a chuckle, he noted: The devil's in the detail.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!  
>  ...You're not mad I skipped Free to be You and Me and The End, are you?
> 
> PS: Lucifer's option of time-travelling will be relevant later, just saying.  
> 


End file.
